Domestically Challenged

I cook. I sew. I clean. I crochet (well I'm learning). I craft. I DIY. I make Halloween costumes. I garden. I try to have our meals mostly homemade. I try to heal with natural God given things. My sister and mother call me a Holly Homemaker. I'm just doing what comes natural and what I love.

I've always said I was in the wrong era. You know Those pictures of the women in the 50's with their hair done and in dresses with aprons and all these freshly cooked/baked foods, and their houses sparkling clean...you know, June Cleaver? Or how about the ones with the women out gardening or milking the cows, or feeding the chickens, with a baby on her hip and kids playing around her and learning from her while she works? Yeah, that's me. Well, that's who I try to be anyways..... And it's been working until recently.

All of a sudden in the past few weeks/months my house has gotten messier, my cooking has, well, you read about the butternut squash soup right? My kids are hearing me less, hy hubby is getting neglected, and I'm constantly tired because im trying to catch up on it all. I feel Domestically Challenged and I don't like it!

The only solution I have is to go back to basics and make small goals, schedule, and dive right into all of it. Most importantly I need to remember WHY I'm doing these things and for who I am doing them.

WHY OH WHY did my homemaking skills disappear?!?!?! How do I get them back?! Have you ever gone through a spell like this? What did you do to get out of said spell?

Sometimes

My heart aches so bad some days. I miss her tremendously. I know she is in a magnificent place, but I still miss her. I miss talking to her, going to see her, going shopping with (for her for the last year or two), looking at crochet patterns, finding new recipes and using old ones, and taking her to the doctors. I miss her hugs, her kisses, her joy, her smell, her love. I miss my Grandma. I miss everything about her. I can't imagine how my mom feels. I don't want to.

I still cry when I pass the bank she used, or when I sit in her room, or when I try to teach myself to crochet. I cry because my mom no longer has her momma to hug and kiss and love on.

However, my Grandma can now breathe without wearing oxygen, she can smell, she can run and jump. She is walking streets of gold and singing with the angels.

She was such a wonderful woman. Always wore a smile even when she didn't feel well. She loved everyone and tried to always send you home with food! She loved children and opened her home to them her whole life. My cousins had just moved in with her and papaw before she passed.

I miss her but I am glad she isn't in pain anymore. I thank God she got to know Zoey (and that Zoey got to know her) and that her and Jaxson got to meet.

I will always miss her.

When The World Around You

When the world around you seems like it is falling apart...what do you do? Where do you turn? Who do you turn to? What comforts you? Can anything make you feel at peace?
For me, I turn to God and my family. I'm not sure I could ever survive without them. Just knowing that I can pray to a God that is a God of action eases my mind. And having family that I can talk to, cry to/with and lean on is something I sometimes take for granted.

My Grandma is in the hospital right now fighting congestive heart failure, pulmonary hypertension, and pneumonia. She was put on a ventilator and feeding tube so they could get her to rest and pump her full of meds to try and get her better. They wake her up every morning to make sure she is OK, and she is even waking up during the day on her own. Yes even though they have her on sedation meds. The meds are helping and she may come off the ventilator soon. I pray she does and that she comes home soon. I can't wait for her to meet Jax!

When I called my cousin to check on him and make sure he was handling all this ( our Grandma was very much like a mom to him and she holds a very special place in his heart) we sat on the phone and just cried together. It was comforting, yes it was sad, but it was also comforting. I have never been so open with anyone like that (even if it was over the phone) other than my husband.  My heart was breaking for so many reasons all at once.




We are and will continue to pray for you Grandma Polly for healing and for you to come home soon.

Welcome Jaxson

What a crazy week! On February 15th at 4:57am we welcomed our handsome little blessing into the world! Jaxson Edward. He is amazing! He was 7 lbs 15 oz and 21 in. long! He was a very long little boy!
The birth was much easier than my first (maybe because I knew what to expect?!). We are so in love ~ so is his big sister!
I will put some pics up later, my phone likes to make them sideways!

My Reasons

These 3 right here. My hubby, my little girl, and my little boy (whom we are excitedly awaiting the arrival of). They are the reason I do everything.
I thank God for them everyday. 
They keep me going. There smiles, their silly quirks, their laughter, and their love.
My reasons = my family.